Be the version of you that chooses YOU
Your kids will get to know and love whatever version of you they see. Have the courage to be the version of you that chooses you. 💜
If the version they see is:
- doting on them
- doing everything for them
- putting them ahead of you every single time
- sacrificing your happiness for their joy
- resentful and unhappy
Then they get to know and love that person. That becomes the image of the mom they love.
But just like that, if you:
- put yourself high on the priority list
- say no to them in order to say yes to you
- spend time/money/energy on your own well-being
- choose things that bring you joy too
Then, THAT becomes the mom they get to know and love.
They will still love you in both scenarios.
But only 𝙮𝙤𝙪 get to choose which scenario or path you want to go down.
Because let me tell you, your kids aren't going to stand up and say, "Mom you should really take care of yourself" or "Mom, you don't need to sign me up for gymnastics, dance AND soccer, you should really do something for yourself instead!" Is that baby music class really going to make-it-or-break-it in terms of your happiness postpartum when what you need is therapy? Are you truly spending $10K/year on their extracurricular activities meanwhile spending $0 on basic necessities like your health and well-being?
What society pushes on us is rooted in patriarchy. The version of you that takes care of yourself is deemed selfish. Moms legit have feelings of guilt... for what? Taking time to sit down for a damn meal?! For doing exercises to stop peeing their pants?! When did we come to this?!
The thing is, you have to have the courage to change. As parents, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 set the stage for how you want to show up, and what message you want to give your kids about your own self-worth. Have the courage to ignore the noise that is friends, family and society telling you you must give yourself up for your family.
If you've been showing your kids one version of yourself, know that it's never too late to show them another version. They might resist at first when they see you spending time doing things for yourself. But remember that the version of you that is the happiest is ultimately the version your kids want to see. And the version you innately know you deserve!
