67. Precipitous Labor & Unexpected Home Birth with Sarah Sayed (Part 1)
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This week’s episode features Sarah Sayed, a mom who’s part of my Instagram community! We connected and when I heard her birth story, I knew I had to have her on Mom Strength! Unexpectedly, Sarah had a precipitous birth (which is a fast and short labour) while she was at home and ended up birthing her baby boy on her couch! It’s such an incredible story! Tune in to hear all about Sarah’s birth story, how she gave birth, alongside her husband, in her living room.
Catch Part 2 of Sarah’s episode here.
We discuss
Midwifery Care
Precipitous Birth
What happened after her home birth
Genetics Role in Precipitous Labour and Births
Informed Consent during Pregnancy and Birth
Birth Expectations
Postpartum
Co-sleeping
Returning to Exercise After Birth
Sarah Sayed Bio:
Sarah is an artist, a mom with ADHD, a pull-up enthusiast, and currently a fingerprint technician for the RCMP.
Connect with Sarah:
—Follow Sarah on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/saysarahnow/ and check out her art https://www.instagram.com/drawdemic/
—Kensington Midwives: https://kensingtonmidwives.ca/
Connect with Surabhi:
Website: https://www.thepassionatephysio.ca
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Surabhi: [00:02:00] Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Mom's Strength. I'm your host Surabhi Veitch, and I'm really excited to have on my guest Sarah Sayed today and L listen, this is really cool connection. We met on Instagram. She's one of my. Quote unquote followers. One of my online friends, and we just have had numerous conversations where we've really connected and she shared a little bit about her birth story and I'm like, I need to have you on my podcast because she's got an exceptional birth story, which, Isn't as commonly heard, or maybe it is in the movies, but, you know, we don't know many people who've had these experiences and I really wanna hear about her perspective on, how it was and how her mother, her journey has been.
So briefly, Sarah, , is a portraiture artist, a mom with ADHD formally an orthotic or prosthetic technician who recently completed a master's in rehabilitation studies. But left [00:03:00] healthcare currently a fingerprint technician and still working on your, I love it. Like I'm still working on a bio. We are all a work in project, and I love this.
And you, you have a account and a company, I believe called Draw Medic.
Sarah: Yeah. Um, I, I also do portraiture for people and I draw and, um, I do it both on a teaching capacity and for parents and people. Parents. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Very cool.
Surabhi: I, I wanna dig into that. I wanna see, I wanna take a look at your work because, uh, so Sarah shared, a pic shared a picture of her with her son for Halloween and.
He's got these epic costumes. Like this is like, you know, when you see a mom with her family, with their like epic costumes, like, and you, you, you kind of feel
like, oh, that's amazing, but I could never do that because I have zero creativity in that aspect. But I'm always in awe of other people who do, and I think that should be celebrated.
Sarah: Thank you.
Surabhi: Um, okay, so let me know, uh, a little bit about you. Tell me about yourself, where. What you're at, where you live, what you [00:04:00] do. Great.
Sarah: Well, first of all, thank you so much for having me on this podcast. I really do enjoy your podcast. I have been listening to, to it, and it's, it's so cool to connect in person.
Finally. I know. On Zoom person. On Zoom person. Yeah.
Surabhi: Um, awesome. So tell me about, um, how old's your kiddo?
Sarah: My kiddo is four now. Four. Wow.
Surabhi: Yeah. He's tall for four, isn't he?
Sarah: He is. He gets, people think he's much older, and
Surabhi: I thought he was like six based on the picture you sent. Yeah. Yeah, because yeah, my daughter is four, four and a half, and he looks a lot taller, but that again, genetics and p, every kid's different.
Every person's different, right. Yeah. Tell me about your birth story.
Sarah: So my birth story, I was living in Toronto at the time. We recently moved to Ottawa because I started a new job. Ah, but in Toronto, we're in a one bedroom, you know, the typical Toronto lifestyle. Yeah. Um, condo life, no, not condo, apartment, life, but construction [00:05:00] constantly.
Yes.
Midwifery
Sarah: And, um, I had always wanted to see a midwife, so I went to see a midwife, and now my parents are, were an immigrant family from Egypt. And I, they're not very familiar with midwife, so they were horrified. They honestly thought I was going to the village to give birth in the woods or something, and I kept telling 'em, no, no.
I'm a low risk and it's a healthcare professional and don't worry. And I've always, I've known since I was 14 that I wanted to go with a midwife for my, that's incredible. For my care. And I was really happy that I was able to find one. And it's funny because I realized, like when I told my doctor like, oh yes, I'm pregnant.
Oh, great. I know all these OBs. I'm like, oh, no, no. I wanna see midwife. Oh, Oh, like I was like, what? Like why are you going like that? Okay. So like I was on my own to find the, a midwife. I called a few clinics and I was very lucky. I was with Kensington Midwives
Surabhi: and uh, hey, I was too with my first birth.
Sarah: No way.
Oh, great. Yeah. Um. Everything is a blur right now, but, um, I just love them. Like they, it's a teaching [00:06:00] hosp, it's a teaching clinic, so they also have students, but the way they had it is there was teams of three midwives and they'd be on rotation. So, um, what's cool is like you get to be, have your baby delivered by one of the midwives you see, which you wouldn't get with an ob gyn
so I was like, oh, it's nice, it's familiar. And what stood out to me is when the student was male, which is not common in, in, oh, I didn't know that yet. Midwifery. Yeah. And so they asked me, are you comfortable with the male? Are you sure it's okay? And I'm like, wow. If it was OB GYN no one would ask, you know? And so I like, appreciate that.
I had no problem with it, but I was like, it's nice that there's all this. I always feel very empowered. Like they're very much like, what are you comfortable with? What are you not comfortable with? I really like that about their. Care. So when I went with that, my parents have, there are a lot of doctors in the, in our community, Egyptian community, and I think one, a close friend of my dad's an ob, G Y n, they, oh no, you can't do this.
Or, so I know all these awful cases and was trying to, trying to like get scare me. Like you, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, no, I know what I'm doing. And then they're like, uh, and then even my doctor was kind of [00:07:00] like, well, where are you giving birth? They said, oh, I would rather give birth in the hospital. Big time because I live in a one bedroom.
It's cramped. It's our, we have stuff everywhere. It's not very organized. I'm kinda embarrassed.
Surabhi: I totally hear you. Don't be embarrassed. I think honestly, people who don't live in the city don't get how expensive it is to live in the city. If we, if I lived in a outside, in the middle of nowhere, I could afford a mansion, but like we're in a two bedroom condo because it's like, It's all we can afford and like this is all the space that we actually need.
But, and I like it. I hear you. That it's cramped. Yeah, it's cramped. Yeah. And you don't have a lot of space to like, um, you know, set up a beautiful baby nursery and ba mm-hmm.
Sarah: Everything, no space for a tub, no space for, so I made it clear to the team. I'm like, okay, I'd like to have the birth in the hospital.
And they said, well, you know, there's also the birth center. Yes. And, and, and they were telling me like, you know, there's less germs at home. Home it's more sterile. They're trying to kind of, and I said, no, no, it's okay. I'll, I'll have it, I'll have it at, I'll have it at home. That was my plan. Like I, I absolutely did not want a home birth.
[00:08:00] Not that I have anything against it, but I was like, I absolutely want it at the hospital. Yeah. And yeah, so we worked that out and, um, I, I mean, my family doctor was like, well, it's good to do some things that are based on. Um, evidence. Evidence. And I was like, excuse me, you guys are supposed to be like a team that referred to each other.
It's not supposed to be a competition. And family doctors are qualified to deliver babies. So a midwife does that only as their job. So I'm more comfortable with a midwife. Again, whatever anyone's comfortable with, I have, yeah, no opinion, but I, I felt like I was a little bit like, like not shamed, but a little bit like, why are you doing something a little different?
But, um, I was surprised I didn't that kind of. Pulled me about cuz I, I dunno, I'm very familiar with midwife since I was 14. I was researching them and I'm like, yeah, that's what I want. When I also,
Surabhi: I'm like, impressed that you were
14, that's definitely well ahead
of the game compared to most people who are only after they're getting pregnant learning about these options.
And I had a very similar experience with my first was your, your uh, son was born 2018.
Sarah: Yes, that's [00:09:00] correct. This is wild What month? On in April. Okay.
Surabhi: Mine was born in May, so we very well could have been in the clinic at the same time. Wow. Because I was with Kensington Midwives too, and I loved them. And with my first birth, uh, with my second, I was with North Dawn River because we had moved, but I.
My family doctor, when I told her I was pregnant, she was immediately like, oh, this is the best OB in Toronto, Mount Sinai Hospital. And I'm like, I'm thinking, do I, do I need a high risk? Like am I high risk? Like why are, why do I need the best ob? Like I'm just having a baby. And um, like I don't wanna be cut open for no reason.
In which case then yeah, I would want the best. Best surgeon, I guess, but, you know, all things known I was at low risk. But then she was like, well, you know, my cousin is a midwife, but you know, if it was my choice, I would go with an ob. And I'm like, I'm not here to ask you about your choices.
Sarah: Yeah. I respect your choice.
Surabhi: I respect your choice, but like I, I'm telling you, I want a midwife. I'm, I know what I want. And I did feel like I was shamed for it or like looked down on and [00:10:00] my, luckily my family was so. They, they just trusted me because they didn't know anything about the Canadian healthcare system. In terms of birth and they trusted that.
Like I, I would have done all the research, but all of my friends were like shocked too, right? They were like, oh, they were like, oh, you're going with a midwife. Because they had the ones that I had already had, babies had gone with an OB in a hospital. So I think they felt like, I thought I was better because I was choosing a different option.
I'm like, this has nothing to do with you or
Sarah: anyone else. No, no. It's very individual. This is personal, right?
Surabhi: Yeah. And so thank you for bringing that up. Um, and I love that you went with. You, you trusted yourself. And for anyone listening, this is the power of having the confidence to trust yourself and your decisions.
Uh, instead of listening to every single person, even if they're a well-educated family member who is an ob, G y n themselves, very valid that that's research based. However, we know that the history of midwifery existed long before OB G y GYNs, people were having births long before it was [00:11:00] medicalized. And, um, you know, we need to trust too, that.
Birth is a normal biological process and for, in most cases it's not an extreme medicalized measure. So, um, exactly. Okay. So let's, let's hear what happened. You wanted a hospital birth, everything was going smoothly in your pregnancy or any, any complications?
Sarah: Nothing. I had a. I, I don't wanna, I don't wanna say I had a very easy pregnancy, but everything was very straightforward.
I had a physical job, orthotic technician. I'm in a lab. Yeah, I'm lifting, moving things. I'm on my feet all time, all all day. And I had no problem. Like it was to the point where there's casts, there's stuff, supplies begin and my boss would be like, oh, I'll lift them, I'll get someone wanna help you? And I was like, nah.
And I did everything. And every time come, why did you do it? I'm like, cuz it's fine. And also I can't wait. Like an hour for thing to Yeah. I'm not just sitting here waiting around for someone else to do that. No, no. And I was also exercising very regularly. Squat lunges, everything. I've always been active.
We did. I've seen your pullups thank you. Thank you. We did not own a car [00:12:00] and so, um, You know, and that was the only concern with my MCK Kensington midwife. We lived really close to Sunnybrook Hospital, but they only had admitting privileges at St. Joseph. And I remember thinking, oh man, it's an hour, 17 minutes, probably an hour and a half, and I have to take the subway, the bus.
Could you imagine the tra? I'm like, wow, that's gonna be a pain one. I'm pregnant and a lady, my midwife is like, Sarah, you can take a taxi. It's a special, okay. You don't have to always take transit. And it hadn't even occurred to me that was an option. I was like, oh yeah. Yeah. I suppose like,
Surabhi: although in rush hour you might be faster taking the TTC than, uh, the transit than uh, uh, cab, right?
Sarah: Yeah. For people outside of Toronto, Toronto traffic is like, it takes two hours to leave the city. It's nuts. And that could be like, The middle of the afternoon on. Yeah, it doesn't matter.
Surabhi: It doesn't have to be like only before and after work. It's all day. No, until like 8:00 PM right?
Sarah: Yeah. So, um, I'm seeing my midwives we're getting closer to the due day.
I feel fine. [00:13:00] I'm fairly active on my feet all the time at work. Um, no issues exercising, but by the end of you do, I did feel a little more tired as we got. Towards a due date. So I only exer, I did my exercise one day a week, but because I don't have a car, I'm naturally walking everywhere and I'm working on my feet.
I worked up until less than a week before my due date. It was maybe the 39 weeks, the week of my due date. That's when I stopped. But I kept working up until the end, um, against my husband's like, why you should take it off? I'm like, ah, it's fine. It's fine. So I'm gonna keep working and, uh, It did happen that we did buy a car a week before the, um, the due date.
The due date. So we did have a vehicle, but it wasn't something that I could anticipate early on. Yeah. So I was like, oh, okay. Well, that, that means that I can get a ride to the hospital. That's great. One last thing, your,
Surabhi: was your husband working from home at the time? Working?
Sarah: No, he's a. He's an architect and this was before the pandemic and so he worked very long days at the office.
So [00:14:00] architects have quite intensive schedules. Yeah. So especially before a deadline, he'd be working well, like late into the hours. So, um, it was, he had long days at work. Um, and so I was fortunate he was around when things went down. So I. Detail it from the, from the day, and if you have any questions, let me know.
Mm-hmm. But yeah, I ha It was the exact due date of my son's. My son's due date was, uh, April 12th. So it was April 12th. I'm exactly like cooked, I guess fully cooked. So I go to my appointment, I have an appointment with my midwife. She does the exam and she says, no, there's no sign of this baby coming. It's sitting up.
You're, you know, it's actually a b it's a back baby too. Like it was a sunny sign up baby. Yes. And she's like, oh, that labor might be painful, but don't worry, sometimes it turns around, you know, we like, we're, we'll, we'll we'll monitor you and we'll let you know how things go. And I was a little nervous cuz I was like, oh no, it's not perfect.
Like, I don't wanna use the word perfect, but it's not way ideal. It's not, it's not ideal, it's a painful laborer. But I was [00:15:00] like, okay, sister. That was like my daughter. She was sunny side up. Oh, well that's tough. Like, so I tried
Surabhi: to turn her and I did partially, so she was kind of sideways. But after having my second, I realized what a different labor it is when it's not a back laborer.
Yeah, yeah. And bad labor is a lot harder, but um, you know, and for those who are listening, who was like, what is that? So when you're. In an ideal world where baby's positioned face back because then the crown of their head, that's the smallest tux under their chin, tux under, they can come emerge out of the vagina or the birth canal, the baby's facing forward.
It just might mean that the front part of the head that's a little bit bigger is coming out first, or that the baby has to do a lot more work during labor to turn to be in a more optimal position for birth. And so this is actually more common. Back laborers are more common nowadays. And it's interesting that you had an active job because my midwife was telling me that it's more common now because people sit all day [00:16:00] and I would start, I had gone off work at 38 weeks cuz I'm a, I, you know, I'm a physiotherapist.
I was on my feet all day and I had a really hard pregnancy. So it was exhausting. I had, uh, Spotting throughout, bleeding, throughout, like it was, it was emotionally and physically exhausting. So I was like, 38 weeks I'm gonna take off. I kept thinking she was gonna be early. She didn't come till 41 weeks.
And my last, my last three weeks, I was bored. I was, so, I cleaned the whole home, I organized everything. And then my last couple weeks I was just laying on the couch watching shows and it's like, your nesting, I was nesting and my midwife said, this is actually your, the baby's positioned in a worse position now that you've been off work.
Because I was sitting more Oh. And so, oh. Versus when I was on my feet, the baby was in a, in a better position. So it is very interesting to see how birthing has changed and more people are having c-sections and like more procedures, and I wonder if it's because we're more sedentary through our births.
Um, and you are very active, so I wonder if that helped you have a more powerful fast labor too. Um, this is all, you know, we don't know what, what caused it. Yeah. But this is [00:17:00] all something I wonder. Yes.
Sarah: And I mean after this all went down, many nurses have told me that they, in their community, a lot of people have precipitous labor is what they call it when it's really fast because they're on their feet all day.
So it is common to have really fast labors when you're, when you're on your feet. But it's not common for a first baby, cuz usually the first babies take longer. Longer. I've been told. So the, yeah, the My midwife app sent me home and she said, you know what, sit tight. It'll be at least a week, maybe two. And then, At that point, we'll discuss induction or other methods.
Meanwhile, we're just gonna monitor you. We, we booked an ultrasound. We booked another appointment just to keep tabs, but she said, no, there's no, the, the placement is up. There's absolutely no sign that this baby's gonna come. So I said, okay. Went home, told my husband, I said, yep, there's, there's the baby's not coming.
So, uh,
Precipitous Birth
Sarah: we went out to eat some Jamaican food. Toronto has a lot of great foods. We had the Jamaican patties, the really spicy ones. Nice, nice. And uh, I enjoyed it and ate a lot of like spicy Jamaican food. And we were like, [00:18:00] oh, that's delicious. And then I think around 10 I noticed like, oh, I feel really bloated.
And the husband's like, yeah, me too. And I'm like, oh, should I shouldn't have eaten all that. I should've maybe had. A little less. Like I, I overeat, I overdid it. Um, which is funny when you're pregnant cause you're like, no one can tell you like, oh, you're eating too much. No one can tell you're eating too much.
Yeah. Nope. Eating as much as I want. I mean, you should always eat as much as you want. But like,
Surabhi: like especially in pregnancy.
Sarah: Especially in pregnancy. So I, I go to bed and then at 4:00 AM I kind of feel. Really constipated. Like it, like before it was like, um, you know, it was not just my tummy a bit, but then at night I was like, oh man, I'm so constipated.
So I elbow my husband and I'm like, Hey, hey, I, I can't sleep like the, uh, don't you Jamaican food really got to me. He goes, oh, me too. Let's just watch a movie. And this is, so this was Thursday. That would've been a Thursday night. So that would've been Friday morning. Like Thursday night was what, with a midwife.
So Friday morning we're up watching a movie. So we sit down on the couch and everything's fine, and then suddenly I'm like, [00:19:00] oh man, it's constipation. So I get up, I bend, I move, rock around, and then it's gone. And like, okay, let's keep watching. And then. I get up after a, a set period of time, it happens again.
I'm like, oh, this constipation is so annoying and I'm, and I'm bending and I'm on, and my husband's like, wait a minute. How is it that you're constipation? Constipation doesn't come and go. Do you think it's a contraction? I said, no. We went to, we, we did. Two birth classes, one at the hospital, Sunnybrook Hospital had one for parents.
We did that. Our midwifes were like, no, no, no. It's different with midwifery. So go to this class taught by a doula. Mm-hmm. And they told us it's a long time and they gave us a timeframe and they described symptoms and dilating. And I said, no, like, Like, there's no way. And also I said, uh, it's funny cuz uh, before he said that, I was like, I'm such a wimp.
Look at me complaining about constipation. How am I gonna deal with the delivery when the time comes? Wow. And like here, I'm telling the midwives absolutely no medication. I wanna go. I don't want an epidural. I don't want, I'm like, you know, like I had my birth plan and birth plan and [00:20:00] then Emil, I'm like, oh, this is so annoying.
It's like, I felt like during those. Periods I felt like I really needed so fart. Yes. And I was trying really hard so fart, but there was no pain. And I literally, the only thing I felt it was maybe the small, small section of my back, back here. Yeah. I would feel it there. Gas, just gas. And then it would go away and there, but there was no pain.
And my midwife stayed giving me a booklet that said if there was back, lower back pain to call them immediately. But I was like, but it's not pain, it's just gas. And then so my husband was like, ok, we'll just call them in the morning at nine and and see what they think. And I said, okay. And. But when this happened, again, my husband's like, okay.
No, no, no. Um, um, gas, gas constipation doesn't come and go. This,
Surabhi: it's not gonna be time for a minute. And then,
Sarah: yeah. Yeah. And so he timed it and six minutes between, wow. So it happened. Next one was six minutes later, and then he timed it again. It was four minutes and then he timed it. So this is the third time he time, he times it again, it's two minutes.
But in between of him timing me, [00:21:00] I fell asleep. Like I was like, and then I would wake up and so like it. That gives you a, an idea of that it wasn't super painful or agonizing. And I still believed he had a feeling that no, there's, this isn't normal. There's this, this could be contractions. And I was still in the camp of No, but it doesn't hurt.
This has to be constipation. This is gas and constipation. Yeah. And this is so annoying. If I could just go to the bathroom and get rid of this gas, this gas needs to go away. It's really bothering me. And so I. When, when he had mentored the two minutes, I said, that's it. I've had enough. I'm going to the bathroom, I'm gonna get rid of.
Like, so I go to the bathroom, I squat and I'm just kind of trying to push, push and there's no, like the signs that we were told in our course, mucus plug water breaking, there was none of that. None of that. And it must have happened while I was in the toilet there because,. I didn't feel like it was there very long, and then suddenly whoop.
And I was like, wait a minute. Then I knew no, something happened and [00:22:00] I put my hand and I could feel hair and I was just like, what? Oh shit. Oh shit. And I, sorry. Sorry. That's okay. And I stepped from the, I stepped from my toilet and I look, and I, yes, it's bloody. And I said, oh, that's my mucus plug. But it didn't appear before and there was no water breaking and there was no, um, none of the signs that I was told to look for.
Um, And at one point I did before I went to sleep, I threw up a tiny bit, but I didn't, I thought it was cuz I really overate. Oh, I had no connection that cuz apparently throwing up is a sign, can be a sign. So I didn't have anything chronologically that informed me. And by this time it was 6:00 AM a little before 6:00 AM So I go.
To my husband and I say, um, I didn't wanna alarm him because I'm, I was like, in my head, I'm like, oh, I messed up. I had no idea I was in labor. So I told him, um, can you look between my legs? I feel something. And then he goes, oh.[00:23:00]
That's what I thought. And then I was in denial because I thought I could hold it in. I was like, no, we can still go to the hospital. He's like, Nope, we have to call 9 1 1. You can't go anywhere. I'm like, well, what if we could go to the hospital? What if I could hold it in? He's like, you can't hold it in.
And so he calls the ho the um, hospital. And I wish I had the recording cuz it would've been hilarious, like to keep, so it's like, hello, this is 9 1 1. What's the nature of your call? And.
So com cuz my husband had the phone on speaker. Okay, I'll transfer you to right department. And they told him meanwhile to get, uh, towels string. And I think that, was it a bowl maybe? Or, I think that was it. And, um, because I wag, I, I threaten. Because I thread, my husband knew exactly where the string was.
It's in the medicine cabinet cuz I use it for my facial for threading. We grab Yeah, yeah. For threading. So he grabs it. He had everything In two seconds he had the um, towel. And I lied. I lied down. I lied down on the [00:24:00] couch. And then what happened during this, I'm getting what are probably, now I realize we're contractions, but it's like a wave of intense.
You need to just poop let, like, and it's almost like it's, I was holding it in and it. So, um, what happened was that I was feeling waves of, I, it's hard to describe it. I must have been some kind of a contraction, but it, it just felt the waves of where I had a cough and I was trying to hold it in.
I've been holding it in ever since I felt hair. I was, I've been, I've been holding it in. I've been doing the opposite of what my body was basically like. Push, and I was like, Nope, nope. Tensing up, tensing up, trying to hold it and trying to hold it in because in my head I could still somehow magically hold it and go to the hospital.
That's five minutes away from us. But, during one of these sensations, while I was just moving from the bathroom to the couch, I, I, as I lied on the couch, I missed one of the feelings. Like I didn't hold. And then, so it was like, And then my husband is on the phone still with the parent, and he is like, [00:25:00] well, what do you see?
The head, the entire head is sticking out and the person in dispatcher is like, already, and he's like, yeah, yeah. Ok, ok. Tell her to push, push. And I was like, I didn't push, I just stopped holding it in and the baby flew out, flew out, like wow. Flew out and. Amazingly, it wasn't a back labor. The baby with head was down on the side.
It was on the side. So it must have turned around. Turned between, yeah, it turned between the few hours like it turned positioned. It went down in between a very, very fast and that was it. And the paramedics came seven minutes after he was born.. Yeah. Wow. But the hilarious thing. The paramedics have a script they follow.
I learned after. And the end of a birth script is that they ask you what's the gender? And I, this is another thing that I really annoyed my parents. I didn't wanna know the gender. I wanted to be a surprise cuz there's so few surprises in life. Yeah. So I said, I don't wanna know if it's a boy or girl. And they annoyed everyone.
Like my parents refused to hold the baby shower. Cause they're like, well we need to know the gender for the clothes. I was like, or [00:26:00] you could just get gender neutral clothes. Cause I don't care. Yeah. And I don't care. Like pink, blue, I don't care. I'll put it on the baby. And they're like, Nope. So they delayed it.
And uh, and you know, everyone was mad. But the funny thing is I believed I was having a girl based on, you know, villager logic. Like, oh, it's the babysit sitting up here. It's more likely a girl. Yes. And my, husband's cousin had a dream before I had announced a pregnancy, but I knew I was pregnant, but I was waiting until after the first trimester Yeah.
To announce it. And she's saying I had a dream that you had a. A baby that you were having a baby girl or something. And I was like, oh, that must be, you know, maybe it's a sign. I don't, it's fine. Yeah. And everyone, you know, had opinions like, based on the shape and size of my belly, so I just kind of convinced myself I was having a girl.
So the odd thing was like, so when they asked my husband, is it a boy or a girl? He, he. He checks and then he goes, it's a boy. And I was like, what? And it's like, so I wish we had the recording where I was just like, really? What? I thought I was having a girl.
Surabhi: I was convinced I was having a
Sarah: girl. Yeah. And then my husband's like, why are you more surprised [00:27:00] about that than all this whole, like,
Surabhi: than the fact that you just had a baby?
Like, oh my gosh, can we just take a step back and just Wow. Like this is. First of all, I'm so incredibly amazed at the human body and that your body literally just did what it was supposed to without intervention, without working hard. And this is, I really think it's an important story to share because we have it in our heads that it's gonna be so painful that it's gonna be a certain way that because the baby's up here, you maybe need to be induced because oh, it's not gonna come.
Mm-hmm. But you just showed that it can come. Baby can come whenever they want, whenever your body's ready, and it can happen like that, or it can happen over three days. And I love that you and your husband were. So like, it seemed like you really calmed through it all despite Yes.
Sarah: What was happening. Props to my husband because I genuinely thought I could hold it [00:28:00] in and go to the hospital and he was the one that was like, no, we're not going anywhere.
I'm gonna call 9 1 1. If we had known everything was okay, we would've called the midwives. But at the time, I, I, we were just so confused and we didn't know what was gonna happen. We didn't know if everything would be okay. The baby was really quiet and we were like, is that normal? Is it okay? Like, I kept, um, It's interesting cuz physically yeah, it was very, it was more straightforward than psychologically.
So afterwards I had a lot of guilt for not being in the hospital and not, not, not, not, it's, I thought I messed up. Like, I thought I made a mistake and I thought that he was hurt because of that, but it didn't, like everything was fine. And people told me afterwards, babies don't come that fast. Usually if there's an issue or if there's anatomy, then they get stuck.
They, they never come that fast unless it's straightforward. Exactly.
Surabhi: So, yeah. Um, and Ed. Precipitous births are like, and even the sign of throwing up, oftentimes when you throw up, it's gonna be a faster birth, apparently. Um, just because your body's like, evacuate, let's go. Let's get it [00:29:00] all out. Yeah. And you know, if it's not, if your body's not meant to handle, it wouldn't happen kind of thing too, right?
Like it's, it's, it's a series of things. But I'm curious, what was the post post-birth? Like, how did you birth the placenta and what happened? You know, In that, that phase.
Sarah: So what's interesting is I had discussed all this with my midwives and the birth plan and everything, and I had my bags packed and clear but labeled so my husband would know what's what.
Like everything was clear. I packed it a bag if I needed a cesarean, a bag if I didn't, a bag if, and like I just had everything planned and it was hilarious cuz nothing went according to planned. and so, uh, when the paramedics came and my husband. Again, props to my husband for being very calm and I think a lot of men would've freaked out in a situation.
I think a lot of men, 100% yeah, would remain calm and he was very calm and I did feel comfortable and I think that also contributed to just having things go my body. Once my, once I stopped holding it in, everything was just like, fell into [00:30:00] place perfectly. So the, the paramedics told him to, you know, put a.
Put, put the baby on my, on my lap. And we kind of had a, we had our, uh, blankets and we had, we had that already anyways cuz we were gonna, I had it for the hospital, so we just took it, wiped him very quickly and put the blanket on. We didn't clean him because I wanted that, I wanted all that, you know, like we discussed it with the midwife, so I didn't clean him and I didn't want him wash, so we just wrapped him with the blanket and make sure he was warm because we're like, and putting him on my chest to make sure he was warm because, uh, you know, we're not medical professionals so we're just kind of and about.
Seven minutes, six minutes, seven minutes later there's a knock at our door. A door was open, but there was still a knock cause we left it open for them. And this huge, my husband describes him, a seven feet tall, seven foot wide guy, comes and was like, Is everything okay in a big voice? My husband's like, why did they send Mr.
Delicate here for the baby? And then, um, and then he, when we said yes, he goes clear. And then the paramedics ran in with the gurney and everything. So it turned out they had, it was a fire department in the event we needed [00:31:00] oxygen because the paramedics didn't ha they, I guess the, if there's a baby they send in the.
The paramedics and the fire firefighters. Oh, and the fire firefighters, Bri are there, if they need oxygen, they need to administer oxygen. So now I understood. But at the time we saw this ginormous person, not to say that they, you know, can't, they're all big. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or just surprised. We're like, what, what's going on?
And also, like, I, I, I was pretty much like in a, it felt like a dream. Everything that was going on felt like a dream. So they came in and they were, and we. On the line, they were telling us, I think you'll have to cut the cord without, because it's been like seven minutes. They're like, oh, it's getting long.
Maybe you'll have to cut it. We're like, no, let's wait. Let's wait a bit. Let's wait a bit longer. And then, um, when the paramedics came, they cut it, but they cut it like super long. So they cut the cord, they let my husband cut, cut the cord cuz he wanted to cut it. So he cut it and they, and then this is the weird part is, They're like, okay, we have to take you straight to the hospital.
So they didn't let me get dressed. I'm not wearing anything. I took off my [00:32:00] clothes. I took off, so I'm not wearing anything. And they literally. I took the bedsheet that was on the couch, they wrapped it around me like a toga, and they just put me on the gurney with the baby and took me like that. So I had no wallet, no phone, no id, none of my bags, none of my hospital gear.
They just took me straight to the ambulance. Cause they're like, we need to get you to hospital right now. And I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait. What? Can I get my phone? No, no. I was like, okay. Oh, okay. So all I had was me and the baby and my husband. Just what he did is we have this new car now, so he immediately followed the, the ambulance.
So it's cool because I could see he threw the window. I could see him running for the lights, following the ambulance with the car just behind me. And I'm like, I hope you brought my bags because I don't have anything. Yeah. And, and then it was a bit of a shock because, It was a bit of a unintentioned transfer of care from midwives to the hospital system.
So immediately when I was in the hospital system, they said, we need to be able to admit you we're gonna have to bill it as if the birth happened here, because we can't give you post postpartum care. And I [00:33:00] felt bad because I'm like, but the midwives are like, like they, they took care of me the entire, you took care of me and now you're.
Filling it, but Okay. And then, um, when I went in, um, my, my husband somehow found where I was and um, the paramedics were like, it's a good thing you delivered the baby because we are trained to deliver. We don't like to, it makes us nervous. And I was like, how do you think we feel? We have zero medical, we're not medical professionals.
At least you guys have training.
Surabhi: I know.
Sarah: We had no idea. Oh, and I, I didn't mention the string. You know what the string was for? Cuz we're like string. It's to tie the umbilical cord as a clamp instead of a clamp. Mm. So So that's what it, and you just tied the clamp.
Surabhi: Oh yeah. Yeah. After cutting it, you kind of tied, or you cut it, you tied the knot
Sarah: and then cut it.
We tied the knot and then cut it. But So, cuz at first we're like, drink what? Yeah.
Surabhi: And so when you birthed the placenta, you were just at home still?
Sarah: Not in the hospital. No, no. This is the, the issue is I had no time for anything cuz as soon, it was not long after I'd given birth and we wrapped it that they, the paramedics took me [00:34:00] and I could feel like something was happening.
And they asked me, they said, and they, while I'm in the, um, ambulance, I said, did you birth the placenta? I said, no, not yet. They're like, oh, we're not equipped to deal with a placenta in the ambulance, so can you hold it? And I was like, I'll try. So I sat there and I was doing the same thing I was doing before I was like, Clenching my body and trying like I could feel sensations that are like, Out and trying to evacuate.
Yeah. Yeah. And I clenched it. And then when I got into the hospital, they said they, they, it was amazing. Like I never got out of the gurney, so they managed to wheel me straight into the, um, the room through a, through an emergency right into the birthing room. And so I. I didn't see any registration desk, I didn't see any paperwork.
I was just magically into the birth room, which I thought was interesting. And they're pretty much, the nurse was like, okay, here's a shot of oxytocin to get the the placenta out. And it's one of those things where I'm not complaining, I'm grateful, but I had discussed with my midwifes, I wanted to expected management, I wanted to wait for the placenta.
And of course, like I wouldn't be discharged with. Bits of placenta, that's, [00:35:00] and you get infected and it's a medical emergency, but I knew like I wanted to wait and see if it would come out on its own. And it's one of those things where I didn't get, like, I was disappointed that it was pretty much, here's a shot and it's like midwifes, they ask you everything I know.
And, and that's why like there was no way I could not have a midwife. Yeah. And, and, and then when they did it, I was like, okay, I'm gonna go to the washroom because I haven't. Washed myself. I haven't done anything. I'm naked. I'm st uh, like I finally had a hospital gown, so I was finally clothed and then I was like, what are you crazy woman, you can't get up.
You can't do this. I was like, really? Like, I feel fine. Like, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. And
Surabhi: then, so different at the hospital and with the, with the medi. With the ob. OB nurse.
Sarah: Yeah. And then, um, I, not to criticize him, but this particular nurse, what happened was, um, So they, they, they, they gave the oxytocin and then the sensation I had for the placenta, it disappeared.
And then, and the ob, I don't know why, there's no logic, I don't know what's going on. But the, um, ob g there's a resident that came in and she's like, I'm qualified. I know I'm a [00:36:00] resident, but I'm qualified. I'm a student, but I'm qualified. I'm like, I'm not worried. It's okay. Whatever. Do what you need to do.
She, she, she, so she pulled it out and it came out in bits, like it came out kind of, cuz she kind of grabbed part of it and came out. And then it was in a tray, the. Torn up placenta. And I said, oh, interesting. Like, I'd like to, I'd like to look at it. And then the nurse was like, well, do you wanna eat it? I said, what?
Pardon me? She's like, that's what you people do. And I'm like, you people. Excuse me. Yeah. And I was so like, what? People who see midwives, I don't wanna, I'm not a hippie. I'm, I'm educated. I have an engineering degree, a science degree. Like I was so like, This is why I wanted a midwife because I don't wanna be shame.
Like, I didn't even, like, I was just, I just said like, pardon me, like I didn't say anything.
Surabhi: It's, it's fascinating to look at your own placenta you already made.
That's, Some culture that might be normal, but like, I'm sorry you had that happen. That is so inappropriate and like this is what I want people to understand is this is Sunnybrook Hospital, which is a major TRA Toronto [00:37:00] hospital. I used to treat somebody who was a labor and delivery nurse at Sunnybrook, and she told me the intervention rate at that time was 97%.
Sarah: Oh wow. So you.
Surabhi: That's why this is why you have a hospital birth. You are more than likely gonna have interventions whether you want it or not, right. Some people go in, they're like, I don't want anything. And then I'm like, yeah, but unfortunately you're in their hands now. You're in their hands. And they can inject oxytocin without your permission.
Not even consent like this is, it's, it's, yeah. I'm sorry you had to have that. And I also understand, especially after your, like home birth.
Sarah: Yeah. That, that part felt more calm actually. And I did see the contrast between Okay. Clinical setting and home setting. Um, and like I understand why they need to, they need to clear the birth room.
They need to get people in fast. So I'm assuming that's why they need to just. They can't, they want you in and out. They don't want you to stay there. Yeah. And they don't have the resources for me to sit there and wait for my placenta to birth. Okay. I, I'm not mad at them. But it's [00:38:00] just an observation of the differences is all.
Surabhi: I think it's important to share Yeah. So that people who are listening who may be work in a hospital, they can elevate their care. Because it's client-centered first. Yeah. And I don't care about finances and billing
Sarah: and if you have to do something fine, but don't be like you people. Cuz I felt a bit like sh like, uh, like I felt like I was being judged and I was like, I, um, and then in the back of my mind, this is a bit of an aside, I asked my friend who was also seeing a midwife at a different clinic, but she'd also had midwife first.
So I said, has it ever happened that someone missed their. They're labor and she's like, oh, never, like there was one lady in the clinic at one point, but she had serious mental health issues. So I was already feeling guilty and she didn't know this would happen and she didn't mean anything, but she was just saying, oh no, no, your body will tell you, you'll know.
You'll always know when you're in labor. Mm-hmm. I was just asking cuz I'd never been in labor and I didn't really know what to look for. And so that kind of put a bit of guilt in my head. And then her co you people comment, it just triggered something that. I kind of went into a bit of a, like, depression, cuz I was like, is this my [00:39:00] fault?
Did I mess up? Yeah. Like, and until the baby hadn't been all checked. So I didn't know that okay, I, everything was fine, but I was like, oh, did I mess up? Did I hurt him? You know, is everything okay? When he came out of, he had like big Kim Kardashian lips like, like this. I was like, oh, wow. But, but I mean, babies are not beautiful out of like they, I mean they're beautiful, but they're not, they're beautiful,
Surabhi: but they're kinda like wrinkly.
Yeah. And you know, when I do
Sarah: portraits for parents, I say, let's wait until three months. Not earlier because you don't, it won't look like them and they're not like, you know, so give them time to settle in and then I'll draw them because otherwise you'll be disappointed with the results. If I do it like I have to explain that cuz sometimes I get like newborn draw this and I'm like, uh, you don't want me to draw that?
You would not be happy with the results. Wait a few months, four months is a good time to, but, um, Then, uh, the resident came and she said, wow, like, you are tough. And I was so happy. I was like, yeah, I'm tough. I am so tough. Thank you for acknowledging. And she said, okay. [00:40:00] Um, very, like, you have very minor tears for such a fast birth.
It would've healed by itself. But since I'm in, I'm gonna fix it up. So she, she went ahead and did like a few stitches, but I was like, in my head, I'm like, well wait. If it would heal on its own, do you have, but I was like, whatever. Like no one was asking, they can bill. Yeah, I guess so. Cause I was like, it's so weird.
Like if you don't need to, but I mean, like, I'm also like, okay, I know like I, that's why again, midwife, it's like I can ask about everything cuz I'm like, if I'm not one to dispute any medical care, but it's like, if I don't, if it's gonna heal on its own, I'd rather it heal on its own. Mm-hmm. It's just me.
Mm-hmm. That's my personality. So I was kind of like, oh, okay. But she was very sweet, so I, I had no, like, I was like, okay, thank you. And then, um, Supervising. When my husband came in, my husband didn't hear the comment of you people, cuz he came in a little after, um, the, uh, The, uh, the res, the supervising ob, G Y N was like, Hey, yo, high five, if you ever wanna come here and deliver babies.
Good job. And I'm like, [00:41:00] where's my good job look. And, and I was like, oh, well, like I should just like, focus on the baby, you know, whatever. Maybe I'm, maybe it's hormones or something. Um, but that was like the start of something that I noticed afterwards. But yeah. Um, once I got transferred, like I was in the birth room for maybe 15 minutes.
Seriously, cuz they, there was nothing to be done. So they wheeled me over to, um, a room with another family where, you know, I'm kind of recovering. Recovering or, yes. Yeah. And then again they're like, here's your pain meds. And I'm like, okay, yeah. There's no discussion about what it is, blah. But like, no one's asking me like, do you want to take these?
But I'm like, okay. I'm, I mean, there's no, no one's asking me, so I guess I have to take them. There was a nurse, there that was like, the nurses there were all fantastic, like I lo, I adored them. So my experience became more positive after that one interaction with the nurse. All the other nurses at Sunnybrook were fabulous.
There was one that spoke Egyptian. She's a, she's a nurse from the Philippines. Amazing. She spoke Arabic with an Egyptian accent. I felt so welcome. I'm like, How she's like, oh, I used to, I was, I used to work at [00:42:00] Saudi and a lot of the doctors there were Egyptians and I'm, so, I'm like, I'm amazing. Wow. Wow.
And, and so like, I don't Makes you feel
Surabhi: like, like home, like it's like a home, home kind. It is welcoming.
Sarah: It's, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And she's the one that told me that the, these really fast births are really common with people, healthcare professionals. People in nursing. Yes. People are on their feet all the time because it just makes it more likely that it'll be fast.
Genetics Role in Precipitous Births
Sarah: And the midwives later told me that I had a strong genetic predisposition because of the hip. My hip to, um, waist ratio was such that I would have a fast, uh, labor. And my mom had the same, not the same. I was born two months premature, but I came really quickly. Mm. She went to her OBGYN and she dismissed her symptoms because it's like two months earlier.
And I also think back of my mind, it's like, you're a brown person. What do you know? You're an immigrant. What do you know? For sure, for sure. She went, she went to the ho, she went straight to the hospital. Cause she's like, no, I know it's coming. And I came, they gave all the drugs to try to keep me, cuz two months they, they [00:43:00] were worried.
Yeah. But I came very fast. So again, it's like, it's a genetic, it's possibly a genetic thing and I want people not to feel like I did train a lot and I did specifically look up exercises that facilitate labor, but I don't want people to feel like, oh I earned it cuz I'm so active and I worked hard. I'm like, no, there's a genetic component and I got lucky.
There are a lot of. There are Olympic level athletes who need C-sections. It's, I think it's like, it's anatomy. You don't have control, right? If you're a tiny woman and your baby's 10 pounds, it's like, my baby was not big. It was six, six pounds, seven ounces for a boy. That's small. Yeah. So that's another reason why it was fast.
If it was a big baby, I highly doubt that it would've ever been anywhere near that fast. So I wanna just make, put it out there.
Surabhi: And I, I think that's important also because I know two other people who've had precipitous births, who I are. Um, they're my friends and colleagues. And it's interesting cuz they're both in healthcare.
One's a massage therapist on her feet all day. One's a physio on her feet all day. They both had precipitous births one ended up going to the hospital and was terrified and it was, [00:44:00] um, really painful for her. So it was a different experience. And she tore a lot because I think it was just totally different than the other.
Stayed at home, had a home birth. I think it was like an eight and a half, nine pound baby. But she's also a bigger Wow. Not like a mm-hmm. Bigger person. But yeah, again, that hip, that pelvis, if it's big. Bigger relative to everything else. Like I have a narrow pelvis that I didn't have a fast birth. It was slow, but I still had a home birth.
So it's just a different experience and I think that it's important to recognize that your body will not make you do things that it's not able to do. You know? Yes. It's like your body could handle that and.
Informed Consent
Surabhi: It's really the medical system is taught that they need to intervene with births. That it's an abnormal thing, that they need to give injections, that they need to do interventions, they need to stitch you up.
And I was given the option after my first birth, cuz I didn't really tear, I had a mild labial graze. And the midwife said, you know what? I could add a coup, a stitch or two. But, um, and that would, she's like, this is what would happen if I added a [00:45:00] stitch in the short term. You would heal better, but in the long term it would be fine if I didn't add a stitch.
It would take a little bit longer for it to heal, but you'd be less likely to end up with scar tissue and I said, I'll let it heal on its own. I love it.
Sarah: And having the, I love that informed consent with the options and you're, you're educated every step of the way. It's not like I'm making the decision without knowing what the, what your options, options are.
Yeah. So I, I love that about mid midwifery. It's very, uh, it's very patient-centered and, um, again, like each, each need their comfort level. And I have some friends in the medical, their doctors, and they know they're a bit biased towards all the problems that can happen, like all the Yes. And so they're.
More paranoid than they need an obgyn. And they're telling me like, I know doctors are qualified, but I don't want any doctor. I want someone specialized. And I'm like, yeah, you need to do you and what you're comfortable with, whatever you are comfortable with, this is my preference. But I may, you know, if I had risk factors, if there were other things, maybe it'd be different.
But even then, I know people who had midwifes still had. Cesarean, they're, they're trained for transfer of care. Yes. They're trained to be part, like I tell everyone, they're an integrated [00:46:00] part of the healthcare system and that's why Canada, we're really blessed because it's not a separate, like it's part of it.
So if you need, uh, transfer of care, they don't, they don't wanna deliver breach babies. And they're very educated to recognize the signs of their practice and everyone has their expertise. And it's wonderful that people, I think it's better when people refer to each other. I agree. And I, I think in a. In some countries, like my friend gave birth to Norway, there's a midwifery floor, and then there's an OBGYN floor and all low risk people see the midwife and the higher risk People see the OB, B G Y N, and there's like, and I'm like, that's how it's in the UK and it makes sense in a public healthcare system, you wanna save the money and it doesn't mean like, The OBGYNs are paid less.
I actually, they just have more time to focus on the, on the riskier cases and the problematic. And I, I mean they're amazing cuz they deal with like a lot of life and death, life threatening situations. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm not at all. Saying like, oh, downplaying one or the other. I'm just saying that if you wanted to save money in a public health system, it's more efficient.
That low risk people see midwives that agreed and then, and then of course they're [00:47:00] trained to refer and it's great when it's the same hospital. It's fast, like there's no issue. So that's, so I, I feel like again, it's like integrated healthcare system is a way to go because everyone has their area of expertise and work together because the goal is not like, To bill you or not bill you.
It's to have good patient outcomes.
Surabhi: And I mean, that should be the goal, but unfortunately it is not always the goal. Yeah. And I do think that, I love the idea of a separate floor or even just having a designated midwife space because I know a lot of midwives feel like they're in the OB's turf, so they're, they can, they have privileges at the hospital, but they're not necessarily like, Welcome in the same way, and it depends on where, but I know that this is a, this is an issue because I've heard anyways in the UK that everybody gets midwife unless you're high risk.
Oh, okay. And if you wanna pay for you, if you want an ob, you have to pay for it. Oh, wow. Which is I think, actually better because then. You, you learn to understand that birth is a normal process for most people. That is low risk for most [00:48:00] people. And if you need to transfer care, you always have an OB there ready to go.
It's more collaborative. Yep. In Canada, I do think that it is collaborative, but we have, we have a ways to go into making it really patient-centered, um, in terms of like yeah. Client outcomes and stuff. I agree. Especially. So when did you get to, um, go home?
Sarah: Well, this is the thing is, everything was fine.
They were checking my son's blood cuz he was right at the limit of, you know, the small, being a smaller baby. He's right at the limit of. Where they would check your blood work to make sure the sugar levels. And with breastfeeding, cuz I was breastfeeding that he was getting enough. So, um, they poked and prodded at him.
So I was there. Um, technically only, I didn't really need to be there very long. Like I, by a day, I could have been, I could have left, but then there was a snowstorm out of nowhere. Mm-hmm. And in April.
Surabhi: Oh, I know exactly which day that was. Yes, yes. My friend had a baby shower that day and I drove to Hamilton for this baby shower.
That was a brutal snowstorm. It was icy too, right.
Sarah: Yeah, so they actually said, you know what, we were busy last week, but [00:49:00] this week it's not busy, so stay. We're not, we're not, we don't want you to go home in the snowstorm. And it was a blessing in disguise cuz we got to learn a lot of the baby stuff from the nurses and amazing shout out to Kensington Midwives.
They came, even though they couldn't bill anything, I felt bad about that, but they came unpaid and saw me, like my midwife came and saw me and assessed me in the hospital. Looked after my baby, did her own signs while the hospital did their thing. So I got like, I got like double, a lot of, I got, yeah, I got double and I felt bad.
I was like, I wish I could give you the, this billing. Like, like, and it's funny because my, again, my. Like in the Egyptian community, they're like, oh, the midwives are gonna try to do it even if they shouldn't, because they wanna just bill it. And I'm like, Nope, that's not my experience. They're definitely not.
No. And they, uh, and they came to me and when they, you know, couldn't bill it. So that's pretty amazing. Like, I, that's awesome. I don't expect anyone to work for free ever. So I have to say like, uh, shout out to the care. The level of care you get is really, uh, great and as tailored to your needs. And they listened to you like, even though [00:50:00] I was like, I don't wanna.
I don't want her home birth. I don't want her birth. And they kind of like, you can do a home birth, everything's fine. They listened to me, they didn't impose anything. Um, and now in retrospect, looking back, I have my opinions on home birth changed because I kind of had a home birth unexpectedly. Yeah, yeah.
I did have a home birth in the end. Um, so yeah, the treatment I got, so I stayed at extra a few days. I think I stayed over the, the weekend even. So I came in, I guess Friday morning and I stayed, and I think it was by the end of the Sunday that I went back, um, the. Um, I did all the breastfeeding classes there.
Oh, that's nice. Um, I heard, heard other moms and their stories and moms are way too harder on herself. There's one mom that was like in labor for more than 24 hours and she's like, oh, I'm such a wimp. I went and got on an epidural. I'm like, dude, I don't even know how long I was in labor, but like, I can't, you can't compare yourself No.
To other people. There's nothing wrong. These are tools. I would never say you should suffer. I just want it to feel labor personally, but I wouldn't, I, it doesn't make me like better or, or mm-hmm. Or tougher. Like there's no like, People should [00:51:00] use the tools at their disposal and whatever makes you more comfortable.
For me, the idea of not being able to move terrified me. Thanks. So I was like, no, I need to be able to move. And frankly, like I think I had an easy labor. I was moving the whole time and I didn't realize, but I was putting, you know, when I was, oh, I'm constipated doing this, I was my bo that was how the baby was getting into the, you know, further and further down.
Yeah. Yes. But I didn't, of course I didn't know that's what was happening, but it's like the body knew it didn't even need my input. It was the body had. It's like programmed, it knows exactly what to do and it didn't need, in my case, it didn't need things. And frankly, access and prevention. Yeah. And frankly, I didn't feel any pain, which again is extreme.
Like, I don't wanna say like, but I didn't feel anything that like, it was fine, like, um, It was. It was great. I didn't need epidural. I didn't need any medication. I didn't need anything. Like it was, I just need to be able to move. So it worked out. But anyways, I was just saying, moms are way too tough on themselves.
They're like, oh, and I failed. I'm like, no, you have your baby. That's amazing. Yeah. And you are amazing and. [00:52:00] Um, again, like everyone had like the charts with who delivered the baby and everyone's asking who delivered the baby. And this started a bit of a saga because when I was discharged, so Sonny Brook bill it as they delivered the baby, but there's no attending physician.
And my husband was like, I wanna be on the birth certificate as want deliver baby. So he wrote, when he read, when we, we did the online submission, it. He put his name and then it took six months to get his birth certifi, the kids' birth certificate, because I kept calling them. They're like, oh, there's no attending physician or midwife or anything.
I'm like, yes, because it was born at home. Yeah, but what's the attending physi? There was no attending physician, and I tried to explain it to them, and then this department referred me to that department, and then they referred me back to where I started and it's like they didn't have, they
Surabhi: didn't have a system.
Yeah, they didn't have a system because it's so rare, right? It's probably so rare. Yeah. Either that or they need to make a system because even on my, um, Like, I was annoyed that on their birth certificate it didn't say like, birthing place home. Right? Like it says like, yeah, it's true. It has [00:53:00] to have like a hospital or like a city.
And I'm like, I think it's amazing that they were both born at home. Like, I want, I wanna put that on there, but there's no option. Yeah. And um, yeah, I think also our, they took forever to get their health cards because they had home births and I had for both of them, I had to go in and like get it. Because I just wasn't getting it past that.
Like, you know how you have the three months Yeah. Where you get the temp. Exactly. I didn't get it. And I was like six months for my second one. It was during the pandemic, but even still. Um, and the other thing,
Birth Expectations
Surabhi: what you, what you were talking about too is , I have another friend, um, who I worked with who had a very similar labor to yours.
They were laughing, they were eating, they were. She's like, I had a bit of gas, but I didn't think it was labor. No. Since then we went to the hospital. It wasn't a precipitous birth though, but it was a very mild in terms of pain. There was no pain. She said it was, they were laughing. They were watching a show.
Wow. And I said, people need to hear those stories because when we are programmed to believe that it is going to be painful, that it is going to be this, and it's going to be that. [00:54:00] Our bodies start to expect that almost. And when we start to hear stories like this, we say, oh, Why can't my body, why, why couldn't that happen to me?
It doesn't have to be the speed, but even just that sensation of, you know, it's not that, it's not painful. Now, for my, my, both of mine, I would say were definitely intense. My first, there were definitely points where I would say it was painful, but I, I didn't like to use the word pain, uh, because I found that that was very, Negative.
So I just kept using the word intense. It was very intense. Yeah. And
Sarah: it, it's always gonna be intense cause it's
Surabhi: always gonna be intense, but human being. Exactly. And I just kept thinking like, this is normal, right? Like this is gonna, this is what it's gonna, how it's going to be. And I feel like it's, um, it's a privilege to be able to experience that in, in any state.
So you are amazing and I think you are incredible and strong. And what a beautiful. Also moment for you and your husband to be, it's really special. Be once what? A special like time. Yeah. Like a, [00:55:00] that's a bond, you
know?
Sarah: That's a big bond. Yeah. And also I love that my body was like, I fell asleep between contractions.
Like, it's great. It's like, you need to rest a bit. Here you go. And I'm, you're like, that's being able to sleep anywhere.
Postpartum
Surabhi: So tell me about what it was like postpartum, you know, you mentioned your mental health. Obviously suffered a little bit with those, uh, immediate experiences being, you know, your people.
Like, I, I can't believe people would say that cuz you're like, are you talking about me because they saw a midwife or my, my race, my people. Exactly. Like, why are you attacking me right now? I just came here and I just had a baby.
Sarah: Like, yeah, yeah. You know, and, and that's, I, I like, did they think like I was ignoring it and purposely like just being like, I'm not like that, that it felt a lot of, like, it put a lot of like shame on you kind of.
Feeling and I Same on, on you, for not coming here before. Yeah, yeah. And so it kind of, I was very uncomfortable with it, but otherwise my experience was good with the other, uh, [00:56:00] other professionals, nurses, yes. The other professionals. And, and, and once I was discharged, it wasn't even in less than a week, the midwifes were in the apartment, checking on the kid waiting.
Okay. So that's good to know.
Surabhi: The midwife is, yeah.
Sarah: Doing the post-birth care stuff. They did every, they did everything. So I just feel bad because they didn't get the birth, which I assume would be the biggest, like they paid, they didn't get it. But they still came and they still did everything. And I got like the full, I got both.
Like I got the hospital care, I got the midwifery care, they came to my house. Um,
Co-sleeping
Sarah: another one was, um, and I know this might be kind of unpopular with people, but co-sleeping is, the doctors were like, you can absolutely cannot co-sleep even in, in, in the clinic, the, when you're, when you're asleep in the, this is in the hospital, the baby has to be in the bassinet while you're asleep.
Well, guess what? I put it in the past night, screaming, scream. Scream. So I kept him on me and I, and I, and I was, and. At home like I was, we are so sleep deprived and we're not getting any sleep. And then finally the, but then midwifes on the other hand, were like, no, co-sleeping is fine. You're not smoking, you're not, [00:57:00] they're, these are the risk factors.
Here's how we can make it safer. Here's a breastfeeding position for while you're sleeping. And that was the only way I got any sleep. And I know like my doctor would a hundred percent be against that. And I don't have any opinions, but for us it worked. Like for us, it worked. We got through the night, um, and.
Um, this will be strange, but what I found hard was AI had initially a lot of yields cuz I, I felt better when I realized everything was okay. The nurse was making fun of, they asked my husband to cut it again because the paramedics had cut it way too long. And he's like, the paramedics, he called it, they called it a gave the baby, a tail look.
What is this like? And so, um, Daddy come here and it got my husband back. Cut it again. We're gonna do it again. We're gonna do much closer. Cuz I, you know, they're being cautious. I guess the, the nurse thought it was hilarious and ridiculous so they cut the cord twice. So like a long Yeah, it, it was that long.
Yeah. Yeah. I guess that's why they're not comfortable delivering, even though they can do it,
Surabhi: they probably do it so in infrequently that they just don't have the experience. Right. Yeah. It's, it's like anything, lack of practice. [00:58:00] Yeah. And, and, yeah. So tell me about that, because now you are home with the baby and I never would've thought that you would've felt guilt around it.
So thank you for sharing that because I, that's something I had never considered, you know, is, uh, feeling like you did something. I, I don't see anything I. Wronger nothing. Right? It's just how your body did it.
Sarah: The midwives were great at reassuring me this happens. precipitous labor happened. One midwife was like, sometimes I feel like I'm not doing anything.
Like the body just does everything, so it's fine. Like sometimes the baby just falls out like it, it's, and you catch the baby and that's what you do as an ob, b gyn or as a midwife. Sometimes that's what it is. Like it's not always intervention. And then, and then she's like, you know, you have that genetic.
Thing. It's fast. It's okay. Like, because I was like, oh no, I could have the, something bad could have happened or may, you know, the baby's not okay. No, the baby's fine. It was okay. And, and like, I didn't, how would I known, like how would I have known that the gas not have known there's, it doesn't, it didn't fit.
I did two different classes, neither of them. We're seeing. My husband didn't see [00:59:00] it. We didn't see it. So that's it. Like cuz there's no shame in it. Thank
Surabhi: for, I never would've called it gas for my birth, let me tell you. It was definitely I a major contraction. So I, again, that goes to show that why, and that's for me too is educating people on, you know, that it could just be really like gas or more mi mild.
Um, it doesn't always, Where it's a rhythmic, you know, gradual progression. Even though that might be the average or the, the co more common thing. Exactly. It's not always the case. So thank you.
Sarah: That's hilariously don't, that's important points. Don't do this. But I was googling well I was cuz when my husband was saying maybe, but why does a gas pain doesn't come and go.
I was Googling, can you mistake gas pain for a constipation? No. Okay, we're fine. But obviously don't Google medical symptoms. Talk to your. Doctor provider. That's the, that's the moral of the story because the Google was wrong. You can, you can in some cases confuse gas pain for labor gases. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
So everyone's different. But the midwives were very good at like helping [01:00:00] with the mental health aspect and, you know, visit, they visited us twice and then after that we went to their clinic for the assessment. The baby was fine, everything was good. Um, so it was very positive.
Returning to Exercise After Birth
Sarah: What was interesting is four weeks after I was like, cuz I'm.
You know, very active. I returned to exercise very lightly and the bleeding, there was no bleeding, there was nothing. And then the bleeding came back. Mm-hmm. Like there was some bleeding, of course after, immediately after birth, but it was very fast and it didn't last very long. And then suddenly I had spotting and my midwife was like, What did you do?
Oh, I think you need to dial it back. I was like, really? But I didn't do anything. She's like, you went through a birth. Even if it's like straightforward, it's still trauma for your body, so listen to your body. She's like, we can also do an ultrasound if you wanna be sure. But I think it's just the activity, the return to activity was too soon.
So I listened to her and I stopped and then I, the bleeding went away and I was like, oh, wow. Like this. It's humbling because even if you have the most, straightforward birth, it's still a recovery process. Yes.
